Drawing Tarot cards

Opening an account on the deviant art platform makes me to take even old drawings from hidden cabinets and show them without shame. I never claimed to be a professional artist. I draw by heart and cannot do it better.

Long ago, I started to draw my own tarot cards with related Aura-Soma bottles on them. At that time I was sitting several hours a day surrounded by this colorful miracle and absorbed the energy and story inside. I was fascinated, so it’s no wonder I put them into the system.

I made about half of the major arcana when I realized how cowardly I was trying to avoid drawing people because it was a nightmare for me. At the same time I clearly saw that cards without people didn’t have enough energy, they were somehow flat. But the others looked strange because the people didn’t fit anatomically. I began to feel more frustration then pleasure, so I interrupted the whole project.

I took the cards from the bottom of scrap last week with the same result as many years ago. The cards without people are nice but flat, the cards with people are strange but strong enough. The only difference happened in the mind. It seems that I began to like my strange people and even the strange perspective. And I proudly show you some of them today.

I’ve been always saying that my drawing replaces therapy. It took several years, but hopefully I did accept my imperfection finally.

With love and respect to imperfections,

Ivana

In the case you’d like to look at more of my tarot drawings, here is link to the gallery.

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I became a deviant!

I have to repeat it again, because I cannot believe it. I have always considered myself as a decent woman with the only deviation – love for nature and herbs. So how did it happen to become a real deviant?

Long ago, I began to think about placing my drawings in a suitable part of cyberspace. Just to have them together and perhaps to get encouragement when I need it. And maybe my drawings could provide good mood to someone else who needs a bit of optimism.

I have checked various platforms and something kept me coming back to the server that my mind aversively refused. I would call my drawings naive, childish, non-educated, too colorful, but deviant?

I fought a long inner battle with labeling and prejudice, trying to find another alternative all the time. But the group of deviants attracted me beyond my control, so I gave up last week and became one of them. Still I cannot used to hear someone called me a deviant and my drawings deviations, but I work on it.

I slowly orient myself in a new environment and re-discover the old truth that every environment is like a pot of soup. You will find nice pieces of vegetable or meat, but also a lot of dirty water. It is  up to you what to join. And I hope to be a carrot there 😊

Although I add my pictures to the gallery slowly and you probably have seen many of them already, I would like to invite you to my small deviant exhibition here.

Thanks for coming!

Ivana

Sitting in darkness

The wind storm came last night suddenly, shortly announced by lightning and rain. After a few minutes the electricity supply went off, so the options what to do became limited. No light, no tea or coffee, no internet and unfortunately the low battery level on my mobile at that moment.

What to do in the middle of darkness besides lightning candle if you have one. First, I used the rest of battery for reading e-book, hoping to get electricity soon back. But one hour later I was still in the dark, the phone completely dead.

I wasn’t sleepy at all, so I took a paper and my set of color pencils, wanting to draw an intuitive picture, a small candle next to me. I must say that was an interesting experience!

I picked up pencils blindly and had only a rough idea which color has been used. After two hours of layering colors, I had tired hand and tired mind, but still I was sitting in dark. No chance to see the result before bedtime.

Fortunately, the electric people worked overnight and the supply was restored early in the morning and life has returned to normal civilization mode, if we can call it that.

But that leads me to the question: What would you do in case of blackout, home alone? Yesterday I really suffered from lack of inspiration, please give me some tips I might use next time. Thanks a lot!

Love, Ivana

From Hate to Love

As I have already mentioned, drawing is for me a matter of emotions, something between prayer and therapy. The picture above is 5 years old, but its story is still alive and here it is.

Once upon a time I woke up with a strong feeling of hate. There was no reason, I barely opened my eyes from sleep, but the emotion was there and I had a full throat of it. The hate almost choked me up even though it had no specification. It was a pure hate without direction, the feeling itself.

I had no time to think how strange it is or why it’s happening to me. I needed to give it away quickly otherwise that emotion could destroy my whole day. So I took the color pencils into my hand and tried to vomit the hate on the paper.

There was no intention to create a drawing, nothing to say about a beautiful drawing, it was a blind and wild scribble in the beginning. But as time passed, my soul and hand calmed down, and suddenly the first hearts appeared on the paper. It was a 100% automatic drawing, so I watched with surprise what my hand was creating. It took time, but I wanted to be sure that the hate had gone.

I would say that the original scribble is no more visible under waves of beauty and love. But I know how the picture was developed and appreciate the very personal experience that love is really everywhere, even on the bottom of hate.

Ivana

Reading cards

I do tarot readings and I do it often, so I have a range of graphic versions of it. Some of them are more compatible with my intuition and some less. It might change with people and period of time, but it works pretty well. For more than 10 years, every Sunday I do a public reading card for the following week and I pick various pictures for the same card for better understanding.

However, it seems that thousands of existing versions are not enough for me. A few years ago I was tempted to draw my personal cards. I didn’t have the ambition to create a real tarot set with a fixed structure, I wanted to draw pictures according to my inner calling and watch what was going to happen.

And it happened. I was surprised how quickly I was sure what to draw. Although my pictures are naïve and people look strange, the biggest surprise was how well the cards work. The set is open, so I can add a card at any time, or even cancel the one that is not longer relevant.

In the beginning, I was ashamed and worked with them only when I was alone. Later I showed them to a few of my friends. And now I have decided to show samples to you! 😊

With love, Ivana

Frozen Snowdrops

Unlike other parts of the world we have a mild winter this year. In my place I have seen snow rarely, but I live at the altitude of 250 meters above sea level (about 800 feet), so this is the last place in the country where the snow arrives.

Until last week there was almost no frost, and my body was slowly preparing for spring. The same signals I saw in nature, among others a great number of beautiful snowdrops.

I love and admire these hardy flowers that pop up their white heads even under snow when their time comes. Year after year they assure us that darkness of the winter ends and sunny hope of spring starts soon.

I felt so happy to see the snowdrops a week ago, and I didn’t pay enough attention to weather forecast that reported strong frost. Unfortunately, meteorologists were right and the frost destroyed the living splendor.

Snowdrops are still in the place, white and green on colors, but you somehow know that there is a dry emptiness inside instead of juicy enthusiasm. I wondered how many of us did the same. Meeting crisis and still looking healthy, even though grief, regret or sadness are eating our soul.

And like the frozen snowdrops we need time to recover. A year could be just right.

With love, Ivana

Playing with the Elements, Part 3 – Water

Water is lazy, quiet and cold. Therefore it represents sleep, silence, darkness and even death. Water cannot move on its own. Its movement is always caused by external forces such as gravity or Moon in the case of high and low tides.

So, why we do say that healthy water must flow? And that standing water is an opportunity to grow molds and diseases? Because the external forces of nature and the Universe never stop. And if the water stands, then something acts against those natural or universal forces.

We humans love to act like this. Here are some examples of how we block the natural flow of water in our civilized lives.

On a macro scale, I would mention a boom of concreted riverbed which didn’t respect the original streams and which, a few decades later, cause disastrous floods.

Inside of human body, we often block natural sweating, which is the most effective way to get rid of toxic substances through the largest body organ – the skin. Instead we massively use inappropriate deodorants that block the sweat glands and forbid them natural working, which is the exact parallel to the amount of concrete used in the artificial riverbeds.

I understand that the sweat can smell badly and we live close to each other, especially in cities. On the other hand, the amount and smell of sweat depends on what we drink and eat, how our metabolism works, and how much stress we live in. If we focus more on these improvements, we don’t have to use devastating deodorants, but only light natural versions.

Emotions like sadness or regret require natural flow of tears to overcome difficult situation. But the common social habits often demand to hold tears back. Again, it is close to the parallel with concrete riverbeds. If you block the flow of tears for a long time, there is born a retention tank of emotions that will rupture in future for sure. And then all the pain pours at once.

Sleep is another good example inside the water element. Naturally we are set up to sleep at night, silence and darkness. In such conditions, the body really rests and gains enough strength for the next day. How many of us respect biological clocks and go to sleep with the sun? First I admit that I am a night creature and I don’t want to get up early in the morning. Even though I know it is bad, and it spoils my metabolism and water levels in my body. This is definitely my weakness.

But that’s not all yet. Night sleep should be in silence and in dark. But where to look for them, especially if we live in cities? Unfortunately we live in constant light and sound smog, so darkness and silence become unachievable ideals. And so the water element is spoiled a bit more every day, and thus our physical and emotional health. In the long-term it is definitely worth to invest in the light and soundproofed bedroom.

I prefer to stop with negative examples now and present a few positive tricks how to improve the quality of the water in our lives.

Dreaming is a nice quality inside of water element. And it could be a lucid dreaming even though it seems very useless. Fantasy is an eternal ally of water, so use it as much as possible. You can start with drawing or painting, let be inspired by fantasy rather than reality. No matter of the outcome, the process is beneficial.

Being alone and in silence is always a tool for harmonizing the water element in your life. Therefore, prayer, meditation and relaxation techniques are so effective.

And how about influence of the previous elements?

Fire and water are of course opposites. But the life needs both of them. Water is quiet environment, which needs to get a fiery spark to create a fetus. Water represents woman, waiting for male (fiery) sperm. And do you remember that Air represents socializing? If a man and a woman socialize well, then they create a new life.

Frequent topic is the relation between emotions and mind, i.e. water and air. Take real elements for help. If you don’t saturate water with oxygen enough, your water environment would be dead, even it has appropriate temperature (fire). So using only emotions without oxygen of our minds doesn’t keep us alive. Then we could tend to stay alone, dreaming, without connection to other people. So much water takes the life spark out and we become more dead than alive.

In the case of too much oxygen in water you can see big bubbles, so the water looks more like soda water full of wild whirlwinds, where isn’t even one quiet thing. This is a parallel of overestimated mind and underestimated emotions, which means a stressful life without rest.

And both examples above worked with appropriate temperature. Imagine there is not enough fire, so the water becomes ice. And this represents situation, when emotional person doesn’t put fire into the water. From warm feelings, hardness or even cruelty become.

And that’s why we should maintain balance among the elements. Sometimes is useful to implement small tricks and so to change the sequence of other events.

Next, I will speak about the Earth and the mutual influence with previous elements.

With love,

Ivana

In case you missed Playing with the Elements, Part 2 – AirPlaying with the Elements, Part 1 – Fire