Drawing Tarot cards

Opening an account on the deviant art platform makes me to take even old drawings from hidden cabinets and show them without shame. I never claimed to be a professional artist. I draw by heart and cannot do it better.

Long ago, I started to draw my own tarot cards with related Aura-Soma bottles on them. At that time I was sitting several hours a day surrounded by this colorful miracle and absorbed the energy and story inside. I was fascinated, so it’s no wonder I put them into the system.

I made about half of the major arcana when I realized how cowardly I was trying to avoid drawing people because it was a nightmare for me. At the same time I clearly saw that cards without people didn’t have enough energy, they were somehow flat. But the others looked strange because the people didn’t fit anatomically. I began to feel more frustration then pleasure, so I interrupted the whole project.

I took the cards from the bottom of scrap last week with the same result as many years ago. The cards without people are nice but flat, the cards with people are strange but strong enough. The only difference happened in the mind. It seems that I began to like my strange people and even the strange perspective. And I proudly show you some of them today.

I’ve been always saying that my drawing replaces therapy. It took several years, but hopefully I did accept my imperfection finally.

With love and respect to imperfections,

Ivana

In the case you’d like to look at more of my tarot drawings, here is link to the gallery.

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Mirror, mirror, tell me…

Recently I have noticed how many trees of Larch (Larix decidua) are fresh and green as in early spring unlike the others that proofed passing tropical summer by falling yellow leaves. Looking down I saw the finest hay instead of grass under every Larch on my way, while the isles of new green appeared on other places after few rains in last days.

It almost looked that Larch had a unique ability to keep water for its solo needs and not to share it with its close neighbors. At that moment I saw the evil Queen from Snow White, because especially this summer a drop of water was a step to survive. But Her Majesty Larch didn’t care about survival of the others but only about her own beauty and freshness.

From strange reasons I felt disappointed. It hurt my naive fair-play attitude and broke the current idea of larch as a fragile individual to be protected. Even as a little girl I touched the soft larch needle rather than plush toys. I admired the courage for being different from other conifers because children knew how classmates could punish otherness. I loved this extraordinary tree as well as walks around the river in my hometown, where they grew much and witnessed my teenage years and dates.

I still love the scent of larch that is similar to pine, but slightly softer. I love the exclusive homemade “honey” from the young cones full of tasty resin, and I love the beauty of larch wood in shades of red. But from now, I will never believe that Larch is weak.

Thinking about it I realized that Larch in the system of Bach flower remedies helps to increase our self-esteem and self-confidence. So, there must be some, right?

Later I also had to admit that during my lifetime I often wanted to protect those who had demonstrated weakness but didn’t really need my support. This was a bitter pill to learn from Larch, but thanks for it!

With love, Ivana

From Hate to Love

As I have already mentioned, drawing is for me a matter of emotions, something between prayer and therapy. The picture above is 5 years old, but its story is still alive and here it is.

Once upon a time I woke up with a strong feeling of hate. There was no reason, I barely opened my eyes from sleep, but the emotion was there and I had a full throat of it. The hate almost choked me up even though it had no specification. It was a pure hate without direction, the feeling itself.

I had no time to think how strange it is or why it’s happening to me. I needed to give it away quickly otherwise that emotion could destroy my whole day. So I took the color pencils into my hand and tried to vomit the hate on the paper.

There was no intention to create a drawing, nothing to say about a beautiful drawing, it was a blind and wild scribble in the beginning. But as time passed, my soul and hand calmed down, and suddenly the first hearts appeared on the paper. It was a 100% automatic drawing, so I watched with surprise what my hand was creating. It took time, but I wanted to be sure that the hate had gone.

I would say that the original scribble is no more visible under waves of beauty and love. But I know how the picture was developed and appreciate the very personal experience that love is really everywhere, even on the bottom of hate.

Ivana

How does your inner goddess look like?

I was pretty sure that the inner goddess is a beautiful lady in many variations, but always with kind of dignity because she is a goddess! But recently I draw a picture for my friend, trying to sense her inner goddess, and I was surprised by the picture that appeared to me.

The goddess really enjoyed inline skating, having the rest area in the middle of lotus flower, fueling the strong OOOOOOHHHHHHMMMMM.

My attempt to draw it doesn’t reach the atmosphere of the original perception, but I tried. Happy birthday, Jitka!

And how about you my friends, how does your inner goddess look like? What is she wearing and what is she doing now? Does she look happy? Does she need you to play with her?

Oh, my goddess is sad at the moment, I have to come back to her, so goodbye for now! 👋

With love, Ivana

Ugly soap with beauty inside

I have recently asked whether herbal soap without fragrance is acceptable because I found only two major groups of homemade natural soaps. There is either a large group of beautiful soaps with artistic look of many kinds, or a bit smaller group where the combination of interesting fragrances is emphasized. Briefly, the homemade soaps attack directly your eyes or nose.

I love to admire creativity of both groups as well as I admit that I don’t have enough capability to do anything comparable. Still I feel the necessity to wash my body with my own soap and fill it with herbs of my choice.

The last “soaping” post described my history from feeding wishes of the others to the understanding I need to follow my inner voice although the result looks so poor.

And here it is, unattractive with no additional fragrance. You hardly find anything less common to look at, although there are hidden treasures inside.

Among herbs, there is lot of violets inside. Some of them were infused together with plantain and strawberry leaves into Babassu and Coconut oil, some of them were distilled in water environment to get my own “floral water”, in which I then dissolved sodium hydroxide.

The rest of violets were dried and powdered, so they gently peel your skin while enjoying the bubbles. For the same reason I powdered a pinch of oatmeal, which also plays a nourishing role as well as range of high quality vegetable oils like hemp, almond, olive and castor oil, plus my lovely shea butter infused with plantain.

I count days until the soap is ready, looking forward to enjoy my ugly Cinderella in shower!

With love, Ivana

Frozen Snowdrops

Unlike other parts of the world we have a mild winter this year. In my place I have seen snow rarely, but I live at the altitude of 250 meters above sea level (about 800 feet), so this is the last place in the country where the snow arrives.

Until last week there was almost no frost, and my body was slowly preparing for spring. The same signals I saw in nature, among others a great number of beautiful snowdrops.

I love and admire these hardy flowers that pop up their white heads even under snow when their time comes. Year after year they assure us that darkness of the winter ends and sunny hope of spring starts soon.

I felt so happy to see the snowdrops a week ago, and I didn’t pay enough attention to weather forecast that reported strong frost. Unfortunately, meteorologists were right and the frost destroyed the living splendor.

Snowdrops are still in the place, white and green on colors, but you somehow know that there is a dry emptiness inside instead of juicy enthusiasm. I wondered how many of us did the same. Meeting crisis and still looking healthy, even though grief, regret or sadness are eating our soul.

And like the frozen snowdrops we need time to recover. A year could be just right.

With love, Ivana

Handicapped nettle

Have you ever wondered where the name of dead-nettle came from? What is dead on it? And why is it called a nettle? Dead-nettle is not a nettle at all!

Although we can find visual similarities in plant construction, botanically they don’t belong to the same family. Looking at the inflorescence, even the beginner will recognize why. Here are no similarities at all. Nothing to say about that the sting nettle (Urtica dioica) grows in two polarities – male and female. Modest dead-nettle (Lamium album) does it with one as most of other plants.

Stop. Now I have joined the same game, comparing what is incomparable. The game has been playing for years, spreading the myth of handicapped nettle. I must say that in my language dead-nettle isn’t dead, only deaf. But the meaning is the same – we are talking about nettle which lacks the key feature.

Dead-nettle has its own features and they are many. Dead-nettle is an important plant and a flag-ship of the whole family Lamiaceae, which contains famous and effective plants like mint, sage, thyme, etc. Would you say about these culinary and medicinal herbs that they are dead or deaf?

I like to gather and drink dead-nettle tea even though I don’t have enough patience to pick individual flowers. Usually I harvest the upper fresh part with the first row of inflorescence.

The white classic is sweet like innocent child and given to tea it gently helps to release mucus from respiratory system. Women could appreciate the release of excessive white mucus from the intimate area. In my herbal soap experience, white dead-nettle is one of choices for the female intimate soaps.

As mentioned earlier Nettle: Excellent Blood Purificator, my body isn’t a big fan of sting nettle. But I love the white handicapped nettle which is not nettle. How about you?

With love, Ivana