Mirror, mirror, tell me…

Recently I have noticed how many trees of Larch (Larix decidua) are fresh and green as in early spring unlike the others that proofed passing tropical summer by falling yellow leaves. Looking down I saw the finest hay instead of grass under every Larch on my way, while the isles of new green appeared on other places after few rains in last days.

It almost looked that Larch had a unique ability to keep water for its solo needs and not to share it with its close neighbors. At that moment I saw the evil Queen from Snow White, because especially this summer a drop of water was a step to survive. But Her Majesty Larch didn’t care about survival of the others but only about her own beauty and freshness.

From strange reasons I felt disappointed. It hurt my naive fair-play attitude and broke the current idea of larch as a fragile individual to be protected. Even as a little girl I touched the soft larch needle rather than plush toys. I admired the courage for being different from other conifers because children knew how classmates could punish otherness. I loved this extraordinary tree as well as walks around the river in my hometown, where they grew much and witnessed my teenage years and dates.

I still love the scent of larch that is similar to pine, but slightly softer. I love the exclusive homemade “honey” from the young cones full of tasty resin, and I love the beauty of larch wood in shades of red. But from now, I will never believe that Larch is weak.

Thinking about it I realized that Larch in the system of Bach flower remedies helps to increase our self-esteem and self-confidence. So, there must be some, right?

Later I also had to admit that during my lifetime I often wanted to protect those who had demonstrated weakness but didn’t really need my support. This was a bitter pill to learn from Larch, but thanks for it!

With love, Ivana

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Getting ripe!

To better understand my excitement you have to know, that my living space is tiny. I have neither a garden nor a balcony, but I decided to grow tomatoes on windowsill.

Because of zero experience, I investigated suitable varieties on internet. I chose for two with feminine names, both starting with V. I would like to think that V meant victory, but it was V like Venus and Vilma.

I spent my time with them from seeds, trying to grow strong plants and kill permanent doubts.

I have already harvested a few of gold Venus fruits. They were extremely small but yummy! And there are still many of them on plants, waiting for the right size and color.

Vilma should be slightly bigger and red, see the picture above. I couldn’t wait to taste and check the redness every minute. Approaching the goal, my impatience and salivation rate increases.

It’s too early for evaluation, but it seems to be clear that efficiency of growing tomatoes on windowsill isn’t high. On the other hand it brought me adventure of growing and harvesting yummy fruits, even small in numbers.

Call me crazy, but I think I will repeat it next year again! Your experience and recommendations for a gardener without garden are welcome.

With love and humility,

Ivana

Sleeping summer

There are people who come to life with the sun and have almost no limits. On the contrary, my body switches to hibernation as soon as it’s too hot or hot for too long. And it has been so over the past few weeks!

I was paralyzed by the weather and worked only on autopilot as if I was drugged. Feeling sleepy, but without possibility of true sleep at night. Who would call it cooling when the daytime temperature in the shade is the same as the temperature of human body, and at midnight it is only ten degrees less? For weeks! And they forecast the hot hell will continue…

Luckily, some rain came today and brought happiness to my soul. I walked (not danced) in the rain and absorbed the drops by the whole surface of my body. It was so different from common shower. Although the shower was more comfortable, the rain today was more cleansing because it touched not only the body but also the soul, perhaps because I was so thirsty for it.

Later I noticed that the portion of today’s rain was nothing for the nature around. The soil remained dry and cracked, the fallen water somehow disappeared. Berries stay dried on the bush, sadly announcing low to zero harvest. And the leaves on the trees become yellow and start to fall as if autumn was already there.

One must be happy for a little thing and I’m looking forward to a nice sleep today, if possible without thinking of tomorrow’s hell.

Wishing you a pleasant summer,

Ivana

Being happy

Originally, I wrote a post called “Out of Eden”, wandering if everything was great and joyful in paradise, while outside it was only sweat, blood and thistle. But then, even my drawing looked too depressing. So, I slightly changed the angle.

During last days I’ve met several people who couldn’t find their joy. It was lost and they couldn’t remember anything what would make them happy. Some of them even blamed me I wasn’t able to understand because I have so many interests – sources of happiness. At that moment, it seemed that joy was a crime. As if the existence of joy meant the absence of problems.

It didn’t make sense to explain that I feel drowned in troubles sometimes. But I insist on my right to joy anyway. I cultivate my small sources of joy everyday, because they help me to overcome mistakes and suffering that are part of everybody’s life.

Finally, I realized that medicine is not the number of interests and activities, although they can help. The most important thing is to start reacting spontaneously, freeing joy from the fortress of control and social conventions.

And the truth is, I’ve always been a little rebel in this field. I laughed at places where it didn’t fit. Sometimes it was more cramping than real joy, but smiling has been part of my life philosophy for many years. And sometimes it’s really difficult to find a smile, but it doesn’t mean I’m not trying to do it.

So, today I announce a revolt against sadness and I’m sending the picture of a crazy joy to all who want to smile at least a little.

With joy and love, Ivana

From Hate to Love

As I have already mentioned, drawing is for me a matter of emotions, something between prayer and therapy. The picture above is 5 years old, but its story is still alive and here it is.

Once upon a time I woke up with a strong feeling of hate. There was no reason, I barely opened my eyes from sleep, but the emotion was there and I had a full throat of it. The hate almost choked me up even though it had no specification. It was a pure hate without direction, the feeling itself.

I had no time to think how strange it is or why it’s happening to me. I needed to give it away quickly otherwise that emotion could destroy my whole day. So I took the color pencils into my hand and tried to vomit the hate on the paper.

There was no intention to create a drawing, nothing to say about a beautiful drawing, it was a blind and wild scribble in the beginning. But as time passed, my soul and hand calmed down, and suddenly the first hearts appeared on the paper. It was a 100% automatic drawing, so I watched with surprise what my hand was creating. It took time, but I wanted to be sure that the hate had gone.

I would say that the original scribble is no more visible under waves of beauty and love. But I know how the picture was developed and appreciate the very personal experience that love is really everywhere, even on the bottom of hate.

Ivana

To be connected

Following my last advice, I turn attention to the faith. Although I’m not a part of any religion officially, my heart speaks Hebrew.

I have no preconditions to it from the family, it came to me in dreams many years ago and since that I’ve confirmed a strong response of my soul and heart to the sound of the Hebrew language in various circumstances, even though I didn’t understand a single word in the beginning.

I’m still on the way of searching how to implement this fact into my daily life and not to pretend anything. Maybe I’m not fast enough and this is why the violet color sits deep in the wardrobe full of dust.

So I returned to the picture I drew a few years ago, when I was trying to catch my vision of the commandments inside of the tree of life.

I have meditated over this drawing last days and it seems to me, that each of us is a kind of smart-phone with the spiritual crown instead of antenna, constantly sending messages about true personal stuff to the whole universe with stars as transmitters.

It doesn’t matter how colorful and funny things are displayed to other people, the truth is preciously mined and sent to the attention of HaShem.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe when you get no direct answer, but the point is to keep trying and stay connected, right?

With love and apology for my Hebrew handwriting,

Ivana

Reading colors

There is no doubt, that colors affect our lives. We are surrounded by colors, and even if we do not realize it, their selection mirrors our personality and even our mood.

Last time I gave you a game with associations, which is pretty easy to play and read. And before I tell you about more sophisticated method of reading colors, I owe you a solution of my associations.

taste_of_colors

Looking at the picture, I always look for the weakest point first. At the moment, it is the orange for sure. The sun occupies just a little space and has no companion. So I would guess for a little joy.

To be sure, look at the opposite side, at the level of the complementary color, which is blue. Despite of the blue nature, this part of the color pie is smiling or it seems to me like it. It means that some deep topics of blue take a part of joy away. I would recommend to be less focused on sadness and more to be surrounded by orange in any form (even as a fragrance), which could help to light the darkness.

In general, the axis orange – blue is nicknamed the axis of relationships. So you can assume that the field of relationships belongs to the weak points of the author and it probably brings a portion of deep or sad emotions currently.

It calls for transformation, and this is nickname of the axis yellow – violet. Looking at these colors, we learn how much is the author ready to make or accept change.

And I don’t see much hope. Although I feel a lot of yellow available, it means there are tools to break the darkness, there is a dust on violet side. So I would recommend thinking less (which is the yellow part) and be more focused to the faith (which is the violet part). The picture says, that the current problem couldn’t be fully solved by logical brain. On the other hand, the honest faith of heart could do it.

Last, but not least is the axis red – green, which is nicknamed the axis of the balance of life. The words and picture reveal that the author is somehow afraid of the life fragility, but it is balanced by the love to trees and nature. Despite of the problems in relationships there is a stabilizing element that helps to overcome it. Anyway I would recommend to be more braved and take more risk.

So, it was a short example how to easily read associations of colors including mutual context. Comments and questions are welcomed.

But there is another way how to read your inner self through colors and it is illustrated on the main picture. The method is called Aura-Soma, comes from Great Britain of the late 1980s. I’ve been in touch with the color bottles of magic since 2004 and still they can surprise me with accurate and deep messages.

I believe there are many who have already met the Aura-Soma bottles. There are more than 100 of them already, so the picture above is a small example only. Would you like to share your experience?

With supporting love of colors,

Ivana